Mr ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-andman

They say the mind is more creative at night-time as opposed to day. So how's the old brain box gonna be working at 00:57 on a Monday morning, following 39 and a half hours without sleep?

I have had sleeping problems for as long as I can remember. When I was but a tiddly-wink I was afraid of sleep because I would suffer horrific nightmares every night, and I shamefully admit to creeping into my parents bedroom during the witching hours until a rather ridiculous age (I'm talking double figures).

I still have nightmares or extremely vivid dreams; but my nightmares now will probably involve some mortifying situation I could more than likely get myself into in my everyday life, and not a vampire walking up my bedroom walls or a killer who stole the faces of my parents to trick me. And rather than more vivid dreams being about mystical lands and mermaid cities, they tend to be so mundane and dull that I have actually asked my mum if she did pick me up those fish fingers I wanted the other day, then to find out she only promised me in a dream.

I have been known go through stages, months at a time, where I will sleep or snooze up to 16 hours in a day; only really getting up to go loo, make a sandwich or watch telly, and other periods where I will go as much as 3 days without sleeping, then kip for a mere 6 hours until the next 3 days. This happened a lot more frequently during my late adolescence.

I now strictly rely on sleeping tablets to get a good nights rest. It's terrible, I know, not to mention expensive, but it gets the job done and ensures I can lead a healthier and more human lifestyle.

Just every now and again I miss feeling sleep deprived and like I'm breaking free of the normal routine role that everyone does. I like stealing those precious hours taken up by sleep and directing them towards some space for reflection or to just to have some me time, knowing all those around me are in the land of nod; where their teeth are dropping out of their mouth or they're running to catch that last train but are moving so slow that they cannot keep up.

I can feel as though I am the only person conscious at this time, and that I am in some way more in control of life, or that I am being given a sneaky preview into the 'forbidden hours' when we must not be awake.


As lame as it sounds I try to take things like these as little blessings in life. I am a lover of the little things, because it is those I believe that make up the bigger picture...

...That and also staying up late is super rock 'n' roll and it sorta makes me a legit vampire.